And I mean it. If you were born after 1901, your generation is classified as the Net Generation. But there’s a difference between using the good ol’ web and becoming brainwashed by screen technology. People of my generation text, surf the web, use tablets, and etcetera because they are using what they were brought up with, screen technology. The first computer that was ever marketed was in 1977 but didn’t become a common household item until the 1980s where as the book came into existence in England in 1473. But we’ve been writing on stone for so much longer which could be as early as the Mesopotamia era in 2000-2999 B.C., which is where we used clay tablets. Clay tablets! Do you see them around? Maybe in museums.
Writing has been in existence for so long (longer than the bloody computer) that it would be such a shame to watch all of it just go up in flames. I’m not writing that technology is a bad thing for anyone, including my generation, but I am writing that if we don’t do something fast, the book is going to become some ancient artefact that people with hover crafts and streets in the sky will only be able see in a museum where some interesting or boring tour guide explains about how the book came into existence, how it was such a great achievement for humankind but got overtaken by advanced technology of its day. Do you want to see all your books behind glass? I sure don’t. Now, you may all think that I’m jumping to conclusions and fussing over nothing, but let me explain something to you, today, I just so happened to be walking up the stone steps of my house and discovered this magazine lying on my welcome mat covered in plastic. Upon further inspection, I discovered that this was in fact The Town Crier, but once I read what was on the front cover in big white and blue block letters: “BYE BYE BOOKS” and in a smaller yellowish font: “Tablets and other technology look to replace the tired and true,” I wasn’t pleased. So, I flipped to the article composed by Omar Mosleh and read it. In the article, Paul Shuebrook of Havergal College says that ‘“It doesn’t even feel like work to many of the students if they can use a blog to discuss their work, rather than write it down on paper and hand it in.” A blog! BLOG! Now, I’m no better off as I’m communicating this through Tumblr, but still, he’s not talking about writing-obsessed-20 year-olds like me, he’s talking about 1st Graders and 2nd Graders, kids who shouldn’t even know what a blog is let alone know how to use one. Parents, if you’re kids are using iPads instead of writing on paper, STOP THEM NOW! They’re too young. When you get as old as me, (wow, it’s like I’m writing as if I’m 50 plus years) you’ll know that computers are a helpful tool but they’re not THE ONLY tool to jot your thoughts down. I keep a diary, I have a notebook, I WRITE! Do you know what writing is? It’s when you put pen to paper, pencil to paper, heck, crayon, marker, any writing utensil to paper, and scribbling something legible, (but it doesn’t have to be) NOT typing up words on a computer. I’m an aspiring novelist, some day I’d like to see my book in print, not up on a screen, (I could easily pay $50 and have people purchase it on Amazon) BOUNDED IN PAPER! You know when you open a new book and waft that new-book-smell? That’s what I want. I can sniff my screen, but it doesn’t really give off the same effect plus I’ll smear my screen with nose prints, which isn’t cool. Do you see what I’m getting at? The book can’t go! It just can’t! I won’t allow it. I’ll smash every tablet I see, I’ll throw Kobos, Kindles, and eBooks into the streets, I’ll smash computers with hammers just to get my point across! I hope you all support me in my violent rampage against our new technology. If not, don’t be surprised if your computer, tablet, iPhone, eReader, Kindle, or Kobo disappears off your desk, I just need it for my protest. Thanks in advance.
Technology is not all filled with good news. With screen technology we kill more people on the road (according to a new article written by Jeremy Cato titled “Distracted to death”) or on the street. (Texters are A HUGE PROBLEM!) And if that’s not enough to kill ya, maybe this will: it weakens our eyes, we die younger, (just because of how brainwashed we become) we become stupider, and we become so attached to it that we begin speaking the language of technology (confusing so many people in the process). Still alive and breathing? Alright, good. So next time you decide to buy that new spanking iPhone 8, 9, or whatever the next damn generation is, think again. Why do I need this slick black new device? How many more fucking apps do I really need on my phone? Aren’t I already addicted to Facebook? Don’t I follow enough bloody people on Twitter? Isn’t Tumblr becoming my daily homework instead of schoolwork? Don’t I text too much? Don’t I talk on the phone more than I talk to a person? Don’t I chat to people online more than I talk to people in person? Aren’t I distracted enough? Aren’t my eyes weak enough? Do I need another device to show how my only friend is the black slick box I hold in my hand?
“Hey mister! I can tell you what song is playing on the radio by just using my iPhone!”
“I don’t fucking care, lady. Leave me alone and let me eat my hotdog.” Mutters under his breath, “Fucking techsavy knowitalls.”
Do yourself a favour and go outside for about half an hour and BREATH. Then go back inside or stay outside and write down how you feel in a good old-fashioned notebook.
And because I’m no cyber villain, here’s a list of my sources:
Home Computer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_computer
History of books: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_books
Printing Press: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Printing_press
Town Crier’s Thursday, September 13, 2012 edition page 4 and 6: “The new scribbler” by Omar Mosleh
Globe and Mail’s September 13, 2012’s Globe Drive section D8: “Distracted to death” by Jeremy Cato
Alright, so it’s no MLA, but hey, I tried.