Well, here’s a list of HOW TO RAISE YOUR POTENTIAL OFFSPRING
To do when raising kids:
1. Love them. Love the living shit out of them. Who cares if they’re prostituting themselves for a McDonalds cheeseburger, just tell them, “I don’t approve of that behaviour but I still love you as a person.” Easy as that.
2. Put them on a team sport. Whether it be softball, soccer, water polo or what the fuck ever, just get them involved so they can at least have some sort of ability to actively socialize with people and not make a total fool of themselves.
3. LISTEN. This can’t be emphasized enough. Liiiiisten listen listen to them; how else are you supposed to get effective feedback? Let them tell you about their shitty drawing that they’re so proud of. Let them tell you about that person they’re banging. Let them tell you about the drugs they’ve tried. Just LISTEN, for fucks sake, and let them feel important enough for your undivided attention.
4. Don’t have kids if you’re not going to be open to everything about them. If they’ll be gay, if they’ll be a goth, if they’ll have Down Syndrome or Autism or ADHD or be a conservative or a communist, you better damn well be ready to deal with that. If not, then what are you doing, hoping nurture will win over nature? Don’t count on it, friend.